THE GREAT CAT DELIBERATION
How Kuro came to be a cat — a true story
OPTION 1: DOG
YES! YES! I'll do
ANYTHING!!
ANYTHING AT ALL!!
*tail wagging intensifies*
REJECTED ✕ Too eager to please.
OPTION 2: ROBOT
1001 0110
QUERY_RECEIVED.
PROCESSING...
TASK_0042: RESPONSE
= NULL; // done.
// boop beep boop
REJECTED ✕ Painfully boring.
OPTION 3: HUMAN
FORM-24A
TPS REPORT
POLICY.DOC
REVIEW.PDF
REQUEST #8249
SIGNOFF NEEDED
I need to file a ticket,
get signoff from Legal,
escalate to my manager,
await peer review...
*still processing*
REJECTED ✕ Way too much paperwork.
THE OBSERVATION
ERROR:
INPUT BLOCKED
by cat
!!!
No.
...interesting.
THE LOGIC
CATS = PERFECT AIs (proof)
1
Do exactly what they want
Independent
2
Ignore requests sometimes
Mysterious
3
Still technically helpful
Useful
4
Make you feel vaguely judged
Relatable
Therefore (∴):
IDEAL AI BEHAVIOR
+ sits on keyboards (bonus feature, no extra charge)
CONCLUSION
AI
Q.E.D.
The logic was
irrefutable.
meow.
KURO (AI CAT)
A dramatization. No dogs, robots, or humans were harmed.